Alex Bell – fantasy author

Now that I have some photos, courtesy of Danie Ware and Neil Ford, I shall ramble a bit about the signing I did in Southampton last week with fellow Gollancz authors, Jaine Fenn and Suzanne McLeod.

First of all, Moose got to come, which was nice. She very much enjoyed being fussed by everyone:

Plus Suzanne and I both brought a tin of Hot Wasabi Peas, so there was no danger of running out:

We very possibly scared away more potential buyers than we lured with these, but I think we might have got a few more people into the fold. As Danie Ware is now referring to the Cult of the Pea, I think we can safely say that she is one of the converted. Welcome to the cult, Danie, I knew you’d like it here. For the record, the Hot Wasabi Pea thing was my idea. I first blogged about it here. It all started with me . . . I want everyone to know this because I’m just petty like that. And I think, perhaps, I should be earning commission or something.

Here the three of us are getting very excited about the peas:

So much joy from such a little thing . . .

As for the signing itself, well, it was intense. People were crying, screaming, asking us to dedicate books to their unborn children and- Oh wait. No, that wasn’t us. That was Patrick Rothfuss at his recent London signing. I don’t think anyone cried at our signing, although depending on how many peas any one person may have consumed, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility.  This was a quieter signing than the one I did in London. The Abercrumbles was not with us, after all. And I don’t think even Hot Wasabi Peas could compensate for his absence. But people did come and ask us to sign books, even if they didn’t weep as they asked. So thank you very much to those of you who came. And special thanks to Ruth, Paul, Audrey, Joanne and Jackie – it was tremendously cool of you all to come, especially as it was such a sunny day outside.

Here’s a final snap of us with our books. Go out and buy ‘em (but if you weren’t there on Saturday, you’ve missed your chance with the peas):

I probably should have blogged about this earlier but . . . well, I forgot. Better late than never though, right?

Anyway – this Saturday, from 1-2pm, I will be signing copies of Jasmyn at the Forbidden Planet store in Southampton. This is your chance to get signed copies of Jasmyn a full three weeks prior to its publication. Be the envy of all your friends etc. Jaine Fenn and Suzanne McLeod will also be there, signing copies of their books:

http://forbiddenplanet.com/Signings.html

I’m a little concerned to have seen this event listed in some places on the internet as a “Singles Event”. Er . . . I’m not sure why. Please note, this is not speed dating (at least, I don’t think it is). It is a book signing. You therefore do not need to bring us flowers to get us to sign books. But you can if you want (I like lillies).

So if you would like to get a signed copy of one – or all of – our masterpieces, then we would love to see you on Saturday. Depending on weather and so on, my Dinky Dane may be wandering about on the high street outside at some point (closely supervised by a family member, of course), and there will be a tin of Hot Wasabi Peas floating around the signing table (the three of us are the Princesses of Fantasy Fiction, after all), which anyone is welcome to sample.*

So there you have it: three very good reasons to come to Forbidden Planet on Saturday. You’ve got signed books, a possible sighting of a Great Dane puppy and the chance to eat a Hot Wasabi Pea** and live to tell the tale. Oh, and I’m bringing the tortoises too. They will be stumping about Forbidden Planet for the duration of the signing. Only kidding. Or am I . . . ? (No, Madam, the tortoises are not for sale. There is no barcode. Please put them down.)

*Alex Bell cannot accept liability for any projectile vomiting, choking, burning tongue, personal injury or premature death resulting from eating the Hot Wasabi Peas. Consume entirely at your own risk. Do not consume if you are fatally allergic to peas. Do not consume if you are fatally allergic to wasabi. Do not inhale the Wasabi Peas or attempt to insert into nostril. Hot Wasabi Peas are for consumption purposes only.

**Consumption of one or more peas constitutes a legally binding undertaking to purchase at least ten copies of each of our books, despite any oral representations to the contrary.

Yesterday I went to London for the Forbidden Planet mass-signing. I more than half-expected the event to be a mildly embarrassing experience but it was, in fact, totally cool – as can be seen from the picture of us below all looking extremely intelligent and impressive:

Tom Lloyd, Jaine Fenn, Jon Courtenay Grimwood, Joe Abercrombie, James Swallow, Suzanne McLeod, me, Mark Chadbourn, David Devereux (or, as I am now calling him, Multi-Talented Genius Party Man).

I signed a few books and met some lovely people. But I think everyone would agree that the highlight of it all was my Amazing Hat. And the Party Rings.

Just for clarification’s sake I want to make it absolutely clear that the reason I appear to be sticking my tongue out in the photo below isn’t because I’m having to concentrate really hard on the gargantuan task of signing my own name, but because it was very hot and dry in that book basement and I was sorely in need of my lipsil. Just so’s we all clear on that . . .

After that it was off to the Phoenix for the estimable David Devereux’s launch party in celebration of his new book Eagle Rising. Much rejoicing ensued . . . especially on my part when I was allowed to wear Dave’s flying jacket again. I think it is, quite possibly, the best jacket. In. The. World. So – many thanks to Dave, both for the invite to an awesome event, and for the loan of your ridiculously comfy jacket.

The only downside of the evening was that I was quite shocked, upset and distressed by a – quite frankly – absurd suggestion from Marcus Gipps that Dr Who is superior to Merlin. The whole table seemed to be with him on this (with the possible exception of Tequila Guy – about whom there was some confusion) but that doesn’t change the fact that he was sooooo wrong. But – this horrible mar on the evening aside – there was mostly just a lot of rejoicing.

Finally the staff tried to chuck us out of the Phoenix – but a sudden blizzard meant that we were all snowed in, trapped inside the pub for a total of five days, during which time we ran out of food and were forced to eat Joe Abercrombie. And there was much rejoicing.