Alex Bell – fantasy author

Most of the things I love the most were introduced to me by my Dad: golden oldie films (starring James Stewart, Cary Grant et al), Steeleye Span, Billy Bunter, Siamese cats and Leonard Cohen, to name but a few. This is why I call him my Sam-I-Am. As anyone who is a Dr Seuss fan will know, Sam-I-Am is constantly trying to get the main character in Green Eggs and Ham to try the titular dish. After much resistance, he finally does try them at the end of the book only to discover that he loves them, and is eternally grateful to Sam for introducing them to him.

Anyway, my Dad recently recorded Blithe Spirit for us to watch, and this film now falls into that category:

It’s a strange, quirky little film about a writer (Rex Harrison) who hires a medium to conduct a séance at his home as part of his research for his latest book. He’s also hoping to expose her as a charlatan. But during the course of the séance, the ghost of his first wife turns up, and stays on even after the medium and guests have gone home. Rex Harrison’s character is the only one who can see her – she remains invisible to his second wife – which makes for some interesting scenes, and great little moments where he’s addressing his first wife’s ghost, but his second wife thinks he’s talking to her (the best example being Rex Harrison’s indignantly delivered ‘I could drink you under the table!’ which, to the second wife, seems a completely unprovoked, unnecessarily antagonistic remark).

It’s an odd film in many ways. The green ghost make up is weird, but weirdly effective. And Rex Harrison’s character is so laid back that he seems completely unaffected by his first wife’s death or, indeed, by the startling turn that events take later in the film. But it has stuck in my mind, and I think I might have to get it on DVD. There’s a sort of charm to these old films that many modern ones lack entirely. Perhaps it’s because they didn’t have the special effects in those days, so the script had to be bloody good to pull the film off. Harvey, for example, is a beautiful little masterpiece of a film with one of the best scripts ever (but that’s a blog post for another time).

Another reason Blithe Spirit is so good is down to Rex Harrison’s performance. I think I would watch any film that had him in it. In fact I love his voice so much that I think I could listen to him delivering a law lecture, and I’d still enjoy it. There’s something almost mesmerising about how good he is – sheer mastery, that’s what I call it. I have, of course, seen him before in such classics as My Fair Lady and Dr Dolittle, but I’ve never seen him looking so young. Or so sexy. I mean, the man practically oozes class, sophistication and intelligence:

And here’s the one screenshot from the film I’ve been able to find:

Look at the way he wears that suit! Could any other man carry it off like that? I think not. The photo doesn’t really do him justice though. There’s just something about the way he moves, and the effortless, stiff upper lip way in which he delivers the quips. It’s simply an absolutely flawless performance. And it’s a delightfully funny, charming, odd little film. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore.

Usually I would have kept a find like this a carefully guarded, jealous secret, especially as I haven’t yet seen anything at all in this Ebay store that I don’t want. I want it all! But on the basis that there is more stuff there than I can possibly buy all by myself, I decided to share this little gem of a shop after all.

Alternative Boo Teek is awesome. They have jewellery themed on everything from Jack the Ripper to Frankenstein’s bride. I’ve just bought a necklace from them based on this film:

One of my very favourite Cary Grant films -  ”a drama critic (Grant) learns on his wedding day that his beloved maiden aunts are homicidal maniacs, and that insanity runs in his family.” Anyone who would think to make a necklace based on this wonderfully madcap, macabre film has me very interested indeed. It arrived today and is even more goregous than it looked in the photo. As well as fake pearls, skulls, bits of lace and a big old fashioned key, the necklace also has a little glass bottle full of tiny ‘arsenic’ tablets in it, with a vintage poison label stuck on the front. It is rocking cool. Not only did it arrive quickly, but it was beautifully packaged in a little treasure chest box with ribbons and tissue paper and heart confetti. I really, really love it when something comes wrapped up with ribbons and confetti.

This shop is highly recommended both for its brilliant quirky merchandise and its beautiful presentation. Girly and pretty, but also fantastically ghoulish and macabre – a little like Edgar Allan Poe meets unicorns and candyfloss – it just doesn’t get any better than this. I’m going to have to force myself not to look at the site too often because I don’t think I’d be able to resist buying something from it every time.

But for anyone who wants to treat themselves, or who needs to get a birthday present for someone who loves skulls and sparkle, here is the link: 

http://stores.shop.ebay.co.uk/ALTERNATIVE-BOO-TEEK__W0QQ_sidZ36124333QQ_trksidZp4634Q2ec0Q2em14?_pgn=1

Just don’t buy any of my favourites.

Aha ha, I know what you’re thinking! But, no, I am not, in fact, announcing lesbianism in this, only the third post of my new blog. (That sort of thing is better left to at least the fourth post . . . Only kidding! Or am I . . . ?)

No, my dirty secret is this: for many years – ever since I started to take a perverse pride in being fiendishly unpopular at school – I only read magazines that were about classical music or politics or philosophy. If I saw one of those women’s fashion magazines, I sneered down my nose at it. I liked to think of myself as above that girly stuff (yes, I was quite pretentious, actually).

But not any more. Recently I have admitted – to myself and to my family – that although I love skeletons and spaceships and coffins and klingons as much as the next geek, I also – every once in a while -quite like flicking through a woman’s magazine. There, I said it. And furthermore, I like those little miniature bottles of perfume you get in airports. And I like Paul Frank monkeys and I like having lots of shoes and I like the scented beads they put in the shopping bags at La Senza. Yes, sir, I am a girly girl now – I even drape strings of flowers around my skeleton, Erin, sometimes if I’m feeling extra specially floaty and feminine.

But what has all this got to do with anything, you say? Well, I’m gonna tell you: this is a post about hatboxes.

I was watching Adam’s Rib yesterday – one of my all time favourite films – and there’s this scene where Spencer Tracy’s character brings home a present for his wife, played by the glorious and resplendent Katherine Hepburn. It was a hat. But it wasn’t the hat that caught my attention so much as the box it came in – an actual, honest-to-goodness, perfectly circular hatbox with ribbons and tissue paper and everything. Why don’t they do those anymore, I ask myself?

In Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, the Pythons conclude that: “people aren’t wearing enough hats.” I am with them on that, and I submit that the underlying problem behind this problem is that you don’t get hatboxes anymore. Which just causes problems for everybody.

 So there it is. The sole purpose of this post is, in fact, to express my sadness and regret at the fact that hats don’t come in hatboxes anymore. And because I’m no longer ashamed of the tiny little side of me that isn’t 100% geek, I ain’t even embarrassed to express that regret here on this blog for the whole world to see.

 Please, world, bring back hatboxes.