Hamish the Shrunken Head

It was my birthday last month. The big Two Five – eek, how did that happen? I’m still seventeen at heart.

Apart from loads of new books and a shiny new bookcase to put them in, I also received, from my brother, what is probably one of the most favourite gifts I have ever received in my life.

Meet Hamish:


Is he not both handsome and magnificent? I’ve always wanted a shrunken head ever since first going on the Jungle Cruise in Disney World. Why don’t they sell ‘em in the gift shop, I asked? Apparently not everyone is as fond of the shrunken dead things as I am. Go figure.

But now, after all these long years of waiting and wishing, good ol’ little bro comes through big style. It’s his birthday next month and his effort with Hamish has paid off because I have got him some seriously cool presents, which I am valiantly resisting keeping for myself.

Unsurprisingly, Suki has also taken a shine to Hamish. She likes weird things too. Here they are together:  

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Smith and the Snow Hounds

This is the exciting tale of Smith and the Snow Hounds. A story of snow, stealth, Siameses and sinister plots. You have never heard a legend quite like this one. Once upon a time . . .

This is Smith:

These are the Snow Hounds:

This is the Evil Siamese, who has just ordered the Snow Hounds to find Smith and destroy him:

The Snow Hounds were shocked, but as the Evil Siamese must be obeyed in all things, they set out on their daring mission to find Smith and defeat him. The Black Snow Hound was the bravest but the Spotty Snow Hound – as shown in the second picture – was able to levitate at will by flapping her ears. Together, they made a formidable team. They travelled many miles through harsh and terrible terrain, sometimes going for days without food or sleep:


Carrying huge and fearsome weapons with them as they travelled:

Until, finally, after many months of weary searching, the Black Snow Hound discovered Smith’s Lair:

And the White Snow Hound pulled off Smith’s nose and ate it – effectively stripping the snowman of all his powers:

The Snow Hounds returned to the Evil Siamese’s Castle in triumph:

And the Evil Siamese slept well that night, safe in the knowledge that her enemy had been defeated:

And they all lived happily ever after, except for Smith.

The End.


Black Snow Hound: Loki

Spotty Snow Hound: Moose

Evil Siamese: Suki

Smith: As Himself.

Pretty good, innit? I ought to go into the novel-writing business . . .


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