Smith and the Snow Hounds

This is the exciting tale of Smith and the Snow Hounds. A story of snow, stealth, Siameses and sinister plots. You have never heard a legend quite like this one. Once upon a time . . .

This is Smith:

These are the Snow Hounds:

This is the Evil Siamese, who has just ordered the Snow Hounds to find Smith and destroy him:

The Snow Hounds were shocked, but as the Evil Siamese must be obeyed in all things, they set out on their daring mission to find Smith and defeat him. The Black Snow Hound was the bravest but the Spotty Snow Hound – as shown in the second picture – was able to levitate at will by flapping her ears. Together, they made a formidable team. They travelled many miles through harsh and terrible terrain, sometimes going for days without food or sleep:


Carrying huge and fearsome weapons with them as they travelled:

Until, finally, after many months of weary searching, the Black Snow Hound discovered Smith’s Lair:

And the White Snow Hound pulled off Smith’s nose and ate it – effectively stripping the snowman of all his powers:

The Snow Hounds returned to the Evil Siamese’s Castle in triumph:

And the Evil Siamese slept well that night, safe in the knowledge that her enemy had been defeated:

And they all lived happily ever after, except for Smith.

The End.


Black Snow Hound: Loki

Spotty Snow Hound: Moose

Evil Siamese: Suki

Smith: As Himself.

Pretty good, innit? I ought to go into the novel-writing business . . .


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This Is Moose



Moose is my eight week old Great Dane puppy. She is gorgeous. I have owned her for a week and already I love her like you wouldn’t believe. When we first brought her home she got straight onto Loki’s bed. So he went and sat in the cat bed and looked pathetic:




There may be some things in life more daft than seeing a Doberman trying to squash himself into a cat bed but – trust me – there ain’t many. Later that night, though, they were lying together like this:


And already they’re becoming fast friends – even if Loki isn’t too sure about how to play with something so small (little does he know that she’ll end up being much bigger than  he is).

I’ve booked Moose a place in puppy training classes. After all, if you’re going to insist on having a dog the size of a small horse then you probably should learn how to control it. I’m also going to take her to the puppy playgroup starting at the vets this week. I wasn’t going to bother at first because it starts just two weeks before her training classes begin. But then it occurred to me that as these are both organised locally there’s a fair chance that the puppies that go to training will have been to the puppy playgroup first and when Moose starts training I don’t want her to be the only puppy there who’s never met any of the others before. She might end up having no doggy friends. Yes, I know I’m possibly being a little bit batty about this. But she’s going to be quite a bit bigger than the other puppies as it is. And I have a horrible feeling that if the other puppies snub Moose and refuse to play with her then I might become quite irate, and unreasonable, and possibly even vicious. Like an over-protective parent whose child is being bullied at school or something.

I’m not a complete recluse but I won’t deny the fact that I generally prefer animals to people. And now that I finally have a Great Dane to go with the Doberman, and the Siamese, and the rest of the gang, I finally feel that life is complete. I bought Moose with some of the money I’ve made from the books, and she is definitely the best thing to come out of them so far. And to think I might have frittered all that money away on tuition fees for law school. I literally shudder at the very thought.


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