Alex Bell - fantasy author

This creepy thing is a Frozen Charlotte doll - and the inspiration behind my new YA horror novel, published later this year by Stripes Publishing. You can read the official announcement about their cool new Red Eye series here. I’m really pleased to be included in this launch because I loved reading Point Horror novels when I was a teenager - and when I re-read some of them to get in the mood, I found that I still enjoyed them as an adult.

The book will be called Frozen Charlotte and is scheduled for paperback release this September. It may cause nightmares. I don’t think it’s disturbing enough to make anyone have a nervous breakdown, but I guess it depends on how sensitive you are to that kind of thing. So, you know, if you’re at all worried about it then maybe read it with a friend or something. Better safe than sorry, after all.

I’ve also had a short story accepted for Constable and Robinson’s upcoming alternate history anthology - Tales from the Vatican Vaults (due for publication next year sometime) - in which the real truth behind various historical events is finally revealed after a lengthy Catholic Church cover-up. My contribution is about Jack the Ripper. It is quite nasty. So is Frozen Charlotte. In fact, people might try to suggest that this sort of fiction must be the product of a deranged mind - but I promise I’m still all there in the head and everything. There is no cause for alarm. And I’d prefer not to wear the straightjacket, if it’s all the same.

It was my birthday last month. The big Two Five – eek, how did that happen? I’m still seventeen at heart.

Apart from loads of new books and a shiny new bookcase to put them in, I also received, from my brother, what is probably one of the most favourite gifts I have ever received in my life.

Meet Hamish:

Is he not both handsome and magnificent? I’ve always wanted a shrunken head ever since first going on the Jungle Cruise in Disney World. Why don’t they sell ‘em in the gift shop, I asked? Apparently not everyone is as fond of the shrunken dead things as I am. Go figure.

But now, after all these long years of waiting and wishing, good ol’ little bro comes through big style. It’s his birthday next month and his effort with Hamish has paid off because I have got him some seriously cool presents, which I am valiantly resisting keeping for myself.

Unsurprisingly, Suki has also taken a shine to Hamish. She likes weird things too. Here they are together:

I realised it’s been a while since I did a Wunderkammer post, and as I don’t want the blog to be lacking in weird stuff, here I shall present not one, but two, instances of weirdness.

Number One – the Mastodon:

As you can see, it is both shrivelled and dead. Obviously, therefore, I love it. I found this mastodon whilst heading an archaeological dig in the wild jungles of Peru. Now Seth, as I like to call him, keeps my shrivelled mermaid and shrivelled bigfoot company. There is a fourth member of their little gang, but I will write about him another time.

Number Two – Erin’s New Hat:

This is Erin’s new hat. My Mum recently went on a trip to Marrakech, and she bought this for him in one of the markets there. That’s how cool my Mum is – when she goes on holiday she brings back presents for me, and for my skeleton. And it was perfect timing too because Erin was becoming bored with his Victorian top hat, and had taken to trying to put it on the Siamese, which she dislikes. And an unhappy Siamese makes for an unhappy human. Now, because of the hat, we are all happy, and living together in harmony once again. Soon, Erin will own more hats than I do. I spoil my skeleton almost as much as I spoil my Great Dane. Moose has a hat too. Here she is wearing it on her birthday:

So make that three instances of weirdness.

Oh yes, we are all mad here.

Usually I would have kept a find like this a carefully guarded, jealous secret, especially as I haven’t yet seen anything at all in this Ebay store that I don’t want. I want it all! But on the basis that there is more stuff there than I can possibly buy all by myself, I decided to share this little gem of a shop after all.

Alternative Boo Teek is awesome. They have jewellery themed on everything from Jack the Ripper to Frankenstein’s bride. I’ve just bought a necklace from them based on this film:

One of my very favourite Cary Grant films - ”a drama critic (Grant) learns on his wedding day that his beloved maiden aunts are homicidal maniacs, and that insanity runs in his family.” Anyone who would think to make a necklace based on this wonderfully madcap, macabre film has me very interested indeed. It arrived today and is even more goregous than it looked in the photo. As well as fake pearls, skulls, bits of lace and a big old fashioned key, the necklace also has a little glass bottle full of tiny ‘arsenic’ tablets in it, with a vintage poison label stuck on the front. It is rocking cool. Not only did it arrive quickly, but it was beautifully packaged in a little treasure chest box with ribbons and tissue paper and heart confetti. I really, really love it when something comes wrapped up with ribbons and confetti.

This shop is highly recommended both for its brilliant quirky merchandise and its beautiful presentation. Girly and pretty, but also fantastically ghoulish and macabre - a little like Edgar Allan Poe meets unicorns and candyfloss - it just doesn’t get any better than this. I’m going to have to force myself not to look at the site too often because I don’t think I’d be able to resist buying something from it every time.

But for anyone who wants to treat themselves, or who needs to get a birthday present for someone who loves skulls and sparkle, here is the link:

http://stores.shop.ebay.co.uk/ALTERNATIVE-BOO-TEEK__W0QQ_sidZ36124333QQ_trksidZp4634Q2ec0Q2em14?_pgn=1

Just don’t buy any of my favourites.

Not all of my blog postings are entirely serious. Sometimes, it has to be said, I speak only in jest. But, this time, I am in deadly earnest. You can therefore believe me when I say that I have a magic cup. And here it is:

I’m not sure exactly how old it is, but it once belonged to my great-great-aunt. When she died, my Mum brought a couple of her things home and I . . . well, I appropriated the cup. I mean, look at it. It’s all big and grey and antiquey. It’s even got a bit of a crackle glaze effect on the inside. So, yes, I pinched it. And I’m not sorry, because this is a magic cup. Seriously, do you have any idea how rare those are? Every day I thank my lucky stars that I happened to stumble across this cup’s power - and that is that it can cure any writer’s block. I kid you not. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but if I’m ever getting a bit stuck with a book, all I need to do is make myself a cup of tea in the magic cup and all my plot problems are solved. It has to be tea, by the way, which is slightly inconvenient as I’m more of a coffee drinker myself. I tried it with coffee once, but it didn’t work. And I tried it with cherryade, but that didn’t work either. It has to be tea. Green, mint or ordinary - doesn’t matter so long as it is tea of some kind. Preferably (but not essentially) it should be accompanied by a brown sugar swizzle stick

The only problem is that now I live in constant fear of someone breaking the cup. In order to avoid this potential calamity, it has a shelf all to itself at the top of the cupboard. It could be the last cup in the world and I wouldn’t let anyone borrow it. No one is allowed to touch it but me. And sometimes even I’m afraid to touch it, just in case I drop it. I was carrying it down the stairs once when the dogs got under my feet and almost tripped me up. And I very almost dropped the cup! Down the stairs! My hands were shaking for, like, ten minutes afterwards.

But the catastrophe was avoided, and the cup remains safe. Hopefully it will remain all in one piece and aid me with my writing for many years to come. I really don’t fancy having to trawl car boot sales and Ebay in manic search of another magic cup. Not when, for all I know, mine is the only one that exists in the world.