Alex Bell - fantasy author

Last night I was watching an old episode of Dragons’ Den and I’ve come to the conclusion that this is something I must stop doing, for the simple reason that it is just costing me too much money. As soon as I saw the Scents of Time range of perfumes, I wanted one. I mean, who wouldn’t want a recreation of the perfume Cleopatra herself wore? Or one that elegant ladies onboard the Titanic might have worn? It’s just such a cool idea. It’s unique, and it’s classy. And – as it turns out – it is ethical.

I resolved to Google the product as soon as I’d finished the episode, but I didn’t hold out much hope of being able to order one for the simple reason that the vast majority of perfumes seem to be animal tested. The very suggestion that testing cosmetics on animals can be in any way justified is patently absurd. And – to be quite honest – disgusting. I would never buy any product from animal testing companies such as Proctor and Gamble (producers of Fairy Liquid, Head & Shoulders, Crest, Daz, Vicks, Iams, and many other household brands). I will probably blog about this in greater detail at some point but, in the meantime, more info can be found at http://www.uncaged.co.uk/pg.htm. The website states that: ‘It’s hard to think of anything more vicious than poisoning and killing animals for the sake of tinkering with cosmetics and washing powder formulations. P&G are responsible for relentless cruelty at its most calculating.’ I agree entirely, and I boycott companies such as this for the plain, simple reason that they make me sick to my stomach, and I have no wish to contribute to their already massive profits in any way whatsoever.

But, happily, there are companies out there who do not torture countless animals every year in the name of beauty (which just goes to show that those who do, do so unnecessarily). When it comes to perfume I have mostly been limited to Donna Karan – a brand I love, and who do not test their perfumes or ingredients on animals. But it’s nice to have a change every now and then. Imagine my delight, therefore, when I looked at the Scents of Time website (http://www.scentsoftime.co.uk/) and found in their FAQ’s that they do not test on animals! Yay!! I ordered a bottle of the Night Star perfume on the spot, partly because I think it’s a cool idea, and partly because I would always want to support any business that chose to be ethical in this way. Thank you very much, Mr Pybus – the Indiana Jones of the perfume industry – for not testing on animals, and for therefore enabling me to buy your products!

I tried so hard to resist it, I really did. The astonishingly rapid growth of my gorgeous Great Dane has left me somewhat poverty stricken of recent weeks. Not only have I had to buy her a new collar, harness and safety belt recently (we’re onto extra large sizes now, people), but she has also killed some of her toys and started trying to eat the fluff inside them, which means they’ve had to be chucked and replaced with new ones. It is simply amazing how quickly a bill in the pet shop adds up. I have also spent a positively frightening amount of money on books recently.

So my plan was to cut back on all non-essential expenditure for a while. But after seeing the Roadkill Toys on Dragon’s Den last week, I have not been able to stop thinking about them. They are just so unbelievably cool – I want them all! I can’t afford to spend that much money buying the whole range but I have lost the battle with myself, and this morning I ordered Grind the Rabbit:

Is he not perfect? There’s blood and guts coming out, and a tyre track on his back, and a fluffy tail, and a crazy bloodshot eye – I mean, honestly, what’s not to love? Plus, he comes in a body bag with a toe tag! What an awesome, awesome little product.

I love everything about the website: http://www.roadkilltoys.com. And as I can see that they have new products coming, I’m going to have to try not to visit the site for a while because I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself. I can’t wait for Grind to arrive so that I can arrange him on my bed. He’ll probably give my Siamese a bit of a turn to begin with (she hates things like that), but I’m sure that Grind will soon fit right in with Suki, Moose and the rest of my gang. They are, after all, quite accustomed to the weird things I occasionally bring home.