Alex Bell - fantasy author

Alt Fiction (http://altfiction.co.uk/): I will be there this year. In fact I’m even giving up attending the Youth and Student Labour Leadership event in London in order to be there. That’s how committed I am to this writing thing. Nothing trumps it, not even politics.

I’ll be doing a couple of podcasts and a panel, so if there’s anyone around who would like to see me talk learnedly about whatever the heck the panel is about then do come along. I may not talk learnedly, though, I might just talk. But it should be good!

And if anyone has any books they want signing them bring those along too. I like signing books for people – it makes me feel important. So make my day. And if you ask me nicely I may give you a Jaffa Cake. I always have Jaffa Cakes with me at these things because conventions and literary festivals always give me the munchies for some reason and, as every ex-student knows, nothing fixes that better than a big tube of Jaffa Cakes.

There’s been a lot going on this week, which means I have not managed much writing. But I have enjoyed a rare burst of social activity that should keep my recluse metre topped up for the foreseeable future so that I can get some actual work done.

The Gollancz party on Thursday was splendid as always. I met (and re-met) Gavin Smith and Sam Sykes – new authors for next year who I expect to be deeply envious of some time soon. I had several people express their shock and horror at the fact that I love the Roadkill toys. People seem to think it’s out of character considering my vegetarianism and animal rights activism. And the more they go on about it, the more I start to feel a little bit shocked and horrified myself. Why am I so fond of my gory rabbit? Is there something dreadfully wrong with me? But mostly I just feel a vague sense of amusement that meat eaters can be uncomfortable with a squished soft toy that, actually, is not really dead, yet they don’t mind paying a butcher (or their supermarket) to chop off a cow’s head. Strange, eh? But – everyone’s shock and horror aside – the Gollancz party was a great bash, and I was tremendously pleased that the midnight train was the last one running rather than the usual half past ten.

The panel I took part in at the Havant Literary Festival yesterday was also a success. Fortunately, my hangover from the Gollancz party the night before had worn off by then. At least, I think it had. No one suggested to my face that I still looked hung over anyway. The panel was very well attended, and I was particularly pleased to see the lovely Neil C. Ford in the front row, especially as he had the foresight to bring a Lex Trent ARC – something that never occurred to me (possibly because of the hangover thing).

I believe I spoke relatively coherently, although I may have blanched a little when the moderator suggested we read aloud from our books. The whole concept of an author doing readings from their own books completely baffles me. This is, essentially, a form of acting. I could no more speak convincingly in Lex’s voice (or any of my characters) than I could get up and sing a piece of Italian opera. I am no actor. If I were forced to read aloud from one of my books, it would therefore probably come out as something of a dull monotone. I lack the theatrical flair. Writing it and speaking it are, after all, very different things. I’m always amazed that so many authors seem happy to do readings at conventions and other appearances. This is certainly not something I would ever voluntarily do. Fortunately Mr Ford, perceiving my discomfort, offered to read a section on my behalf, which let me nicely off the hook. And, indeed, he read it much better than I would have done. Henceforth, I shall refer to him as Lancelot, and expect him to accompany me on all and any events I may attend – just in case.

A big thanks to everyone else who made it to Havant last night, and an even bigger thanks to those of you who bought one of my books. Think of me again in February when Lex Trent versus The Gods will be out in all its fantastic, stupendous, awesome, breathtaking, shiny book glory.

Once again, I should have blogged about this ages ago, but I’ve only just realised that the Havant Literary Festival is, in fact, only one week away. How is this possible? It’s still the middle of June, surely? Not practically the end of September! Well, at least that means Christmas is closer. Yay! Christmas is a time for silly hats, and I might have to convince Moose to wear a Santa hat so that we will match!

But back on topic. Next week from Friday 25th September until Sunday 4th October is the Havant Literary Festival: http://havantlitfest.wordpress.com/ I was involved in this last year, and it was a lot of fun and a fantastic event. This year I will be doing a panel at 7.45pm on Friday called ‘The Journey through Adolescence’, with authors Isabel Ashdown and Yong Pease. We will be talking about ‘the special challenges of writing for and about teenagers’. Tickets are £4.00 each: http://havantlitfest.wordpress.com/programme/programme-_-friday-25th-september/ If you are anywhere near my neck of the woods and fancy watching me speak eloquently and eruditely on this subject (or perhaps just making up stuff that may, or may not, be coherent) then do come along. There will be books available to buy and have signed afterwards.

Aside from my panel there is a whole bunch of stuff going on in Havant over that weekend, with a wide selection of writers so if you’re even remotely interested in reading, writing, or just books in general, and you’re within a manageable distance of Havant, then I would highly recommend going along at some point. It was a brilliant event last year, and it looks set to be even bigger and better this year.

Now that I have some photos, courtesy of Danie Ware and Neil Ford, I shall ramble a bit about the signing I did in Southampton last week with fellow Gollancz authors, Jaine Fenn and Suzanne McLeod.

First of all, Moose got to come, which was nice. She very much enjoyed being fussed by everyone:

Plus Suzanne and I both brought a tin of Hot Wasabi Peas, so there was no danger of running out:

We very possibly scared away more potential buyers than we lured with these, but I think we might have got a few more people into the fold. As Danie Ware is now referring to the Cult of the Pea, I think we can safely say that she is one of the converted. Welcome to the cult, Danie, I knew you’d like it here. For the record, the Hot Wasabi Pea thing was my idea. I first blogged about it here. It all started with me . . . I want everyone to know this because I’m just petty like that. And I think, perhaps, I should be earning commission or something.

Here the three of us are getting very excited about the peas:

So much joy from such a little thing . . .

As for the signing itself, well, it was intense. People were crying, screaming, asking us to dedicate books to their unborn children and- Oh wait. No, that wasn’t us. That was Patrick Rothfuss at his recent London signing. I don’t think anyone cried at our signing, although depending on how many peas any one person may have consumed, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility. This was a quieter signing than the one I did in London. The Abercrumbles was not with us, after all. And I don’t think even Hot Wasabi Peas could compensate for his absence. But people did come and ask us to sign books, even if they didn’t weep as they asked. So thank you very much to those of you who came. And special thanks to Ruth, Paul, Audrey, Joanne and Jackie - it was tremendously cool of you all to come, especially as it was such a sunny day outside.

Here’s a final snap of us with our books. Go out and buy ’em (but if you weren’t there on Saturday, you’ve missed your chance with the peas):

I probably should have blogged about this earlier but . . . well, I forgot. Better late than never though, right?

Anyway - this Saturday, from 1-2pm, I will be signing copies of Jasmyn at the Forbidden Planet store in Southampton. This is your chance to get signed copies of Jasmyn a full three weeks prior to its publication. Be the envy of all your friends etc. Jaine Fenn and Suzanne McLeod will also be there, signing copies of their books:

http://forbiddenplanet.com/Signings.html

I’m a little concerned to have seen this event listed in some places on the internet as a “Singles Event”. Er . . . I’m not sure why. Please note, this is not speed dating (at least, I don’t think it is). It is a book signing. You therefore do not need to bring us flowers to get us to sign books. But you can if you want (I like lillies).

So if you would like to get a signed copy of one - or all of - our masterpieces, then we would love to see you on Saturday. Depending on weather and so on, my Dinky Dane may be wandering about on the high street outside at some point (closely supervised by a family member, of course), and there will be a tin of Hot Wasabi Peas floating around the signing table (the three of us are the Princesses of Fantasy Fiction, after all), which anyone is welcome to sample.*

So there you have it: three very good reasons to come to Forbidden Planet on Saturday. You’ve got signed books, a possible sighting of a Great Dane puppy and the chance to eat a Hot Wasabi Pea** and live to tell the tale. Oh, and I’m bringing the tortoises too. They will be stumping about Forbidden Planet for the duration of the signing. Only kidding. Or am I . . . ? (No, Madam, the tortoises are not for sale. There is no barcode. Please put them down.)

*Alex Bell cannot accept liability for any projectile vomiting, choking, burning tongue, personal injury or premature death resulting from eating the Hot Wasabi Peas. Consume entirely at your own risk. Do not consume if you are fatally allergic to peas. Do not consume if you are fatally allergic to wasabi. Do not inhale the Wasabi Peas or attempt to insert into nostril. Hot Wasabi Peas are for consumption purposes only.

**Consumption of one or more peas constitutes a legally binding undertaking to purchase at least ten copies of each of our books, despite any oral representations to the contrary.