I Am The Secret Love Child of Richard Morgan And Alistair Reynolds!
Yeah, you’re shocked? Just think how I felt last week when I discovered that Richard Morgan and Alistair Reynolds were my real parents! Evil Overlord Spanton blithely revealed this heretofore closely guarded secret at the Gollancz Quiz on Thursday during the acting round. It was quite shocking for everyone present, actually. When I pencilled the Gollancz Quiz onto my calendar it never occurred to me that part of the evening would involve me stood in front of fifty booksellers trying to convince Richard Morgan of what I was - or was not - doing in my bedroom. Reading out scenes from films is only fun if it isn’t that embarrassing scene from Transformers. How I laughed and laughed at Shia La Boeuf’s discomfort the first time I saw that film but - believe me - it ain’t so funny when you’re on the other side of the camera . . .
Still - if Richard Morgan and Alistair Reynolds are my parents then I suppose this explains where my writing genius originates from . . . The press releases insist on referring to me as being “frighteningly” talented or ”distressingly” young - to the extent that I actually start feeling a little bit frightened and distressed myself. But it all makes sense now . . .
Moving on - the Gollancz Quiz was wonderful fun (even if I was a bit crap at getting the right answers - apologies everyone!). I think I might have behaved quite greedily - even gluttonously - when the food arrived half way through so I suppose I should also apologise to the other vegetarians who were present that night. Being the only vegetarian in a meat-eating family I am unaccustomed to the idea of leaving some for everyone else. But then I heard someone ask what had happened to the plate of veggie samosas and Mr Devereux loudly replying that: “Alex Bell happened to them!” And then I realised that I had, perhaps, been a little bit too enthusiastic in attacking that plate of tasty deep-fried goodness.
Before the quiz I went to a fancy cocktail bar at the Hospital Club with a host of Gollancz talent (including my new found parents) to be filmed with fellow fantasy princesses, Jaine Fenn and Suzanne McLeod. I thoroughly enjoyed this because I love anything that’s silly. And it did get a bit silly - even before the three of us knocked back our cocktails in almost hysterical relief at the fact that the camera was no longer being pointed in our faces. I’m sure the finished product will be highly embarrassing - but then if I couldn’t cope with being embarrassed and humiliated by my lovely publisher in the name of promotion on occasion then I’d be in the wrong business, aha ha. At some point during the interview I think I may have babbled a bit about how much I hated studying Law, but seeing as my drop-out status is a relatively recent thing, you could ask me what I had for breakfast and I would probably still reply that I loathed Law School and that I’m immensely proud of fleeing from that place (and then returning late at night to chuck eggs at the building . . .)
Tags: Events
February 15th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
I didn’t make it sound *that* bad! To be honest, I found it quite funny that after you’d complained to me that there are never enough veggie snacks at these things you’d managed to find enough to attack with (admirable) gusto. Besides, cocktails and huge plates of snacks seem like a perfectly reasonable way to spend an afternoon and evening and it was just a shame that you and your fellow Princesses had to run as early as you did.
And apparently I have to ask you about “Chainsaw Bunnies” on Wednesday. Jaine said so.
February 15th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Oh, there are veggie snacks at the Phoenix. Just not at the author parties.
Next time I’m definitely getting a hotel room. Every time I have to leave one of these things at ten o clock a little part of me dies.
And I will certainly tell you all about the Chainsaw Bunnies. Especially since I fear I may have been misunderstood where they are concerned – I’m not talking about cutting ‘em up with chainsaws, I’m talking about *merging* them with― Oh well, perhaps it would be better if I explained it in person . . .
February 15th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Have you been using my Junior Mad Scientist Kit while I wasn’t looking?
February 17th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I had three samosas, if that helps, though one of them was for the third vegetarian, a bookseller whose name I have now, unsurprisingly, forgotten.
I think you definitely have Richard Morgan’s eyes. Possibly in a jar somewhere.
February 19th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Dear Alex
I hope you are going to have a wonderful holiday
at disney world.I loved the cloths and shoos that you wore to the party.I hope you had a nice time at the party.Did you get drunk?
From your little cosen
xxGeorgixx
February 20th, 2009 at 12:52 am
Little cousin, Georgi - how are you possibly old enough to know how to leave a comment on my blog already? It is freaking me out! You should be at least nine before you know how to do that, you clever thing.
I did have a great time at the party :-)And I did get a little bit drunk this time, yes. But don’t use me as a role model. Pick someone more sensible instead . . .
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:07 am
Ha, your report here was mentioned by Ansible. Fame and fortune will no doubt follow.
http://news.ansible.co.uk/a260.html
March 4th, 2009 at 1:51 am
Aren’t I *already* famous because of the hats and stuff?!
March 6th, 2009 at 1:16 am
Erm, ‘famousER?’ That’s what I meant to say. Ahem.
March 6th, 2009 at 11:22 am
. . . Is the correct answer! *grin*
March 7th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I’m glad to see we’re all learning quickly . . .