I am a Writer. I think.
This is something I’ve come across in several different places, both online and in real life: when is it okay to call yourself a writer? It’s one of those weird labels that people seem strangely reluctant to claim, and I am no exception. When I was writing my first novel I hesitated to call myself a writer because I had not achieved any measure of success yet. I therefore felt that I did not deserve the title somehow. It seemed akin to announcing myself as a king simply because there was a Burger King crown on my head.
The problem is that with most professions you either are something, or you are not. There is no inbetween, no fuzzy grey area of uncertainty. Writing is different because it very often starts out as a private hobby, and there is certainly no qualification you are obliged to take before officially achieving the status of ‘Writer’. And therein lies the problem. You can call yourself a writer even if you’re a really bad writer, and you can call yourself a writer even if you’ve never written a single story. I don’t believe you have to be spectacularly talented to call yourself a writer but you probably should be writing something even if it is awful.
Before I got my first book published I more or less stopped telling people that I wanted to be an author because I got tired of the pitying, condescending looks I received in response.
‘It’s very difficult to get published,’ people who were in no way experts on the publishing industry would helpfully say to me. ‘Very difficult.’
‘Really?’ I replied. ‘I had no idea! Thank you for pointing that out to me . . . Seriously, though, how much of a naïve fool do you believe me to be?’
Or, at least, I would think that silently in my head, and out loud I would say, deadpan: ‘Yes. I have heard that.’
I thought that once I got my first book deal it would be easier to say: ‘I am a writer’ without turning red. But it wasn’t really. People still looked at me with pity or, worse, disbelief. It doesn’t help when a lot of people say they are writers when what they really mean is that they like the idea of being a writer and may give it a go if they ever have the time, but probably lack the discipline to even successfully complete a novella, never mind a novel.
I saw quite a lot of this at the writing group I joined at university. One guy in particular seemed excessively and never-endingly impressed with himself because he had been writing a ‘novel’ for the last three years, and had reached 10,000 words during that time. He had never written an actual full-length book, and yet he spent every one of our weekly meetings dishing out advice about how such a book should be written. He even attempted to advise me on more than one occasion despite the fact that I had a book deal by then. I felt like laughing, but everyone else looked so grave and impressed that I thought it best not to. Another bloke I knew insisted on referring to himself as a ‘poet’ even though he had written only one very short, and not very impressive, poem the whole time he was in the group. This is the literary equivalent of someone who calls themselves a vegetarian but, in fact, eats all meat as long as it’s not chicken. These people are the reason that when I refer to myself as a writer, most people take that as a euphemism for ‘unemployed layabout with high and mighty ideas of themselves’. The mind forms this image of someone trying to be all creative and arty and passionate and intense when, actually, they’re just a bit of a tit suffering from visions of grandeur.
I briefly tried ‘author’ and ‘novelist’ instead of ‘writer’ but those just sounded even more pretentious. Basically, I think if you are writing something then you are perfectly entitled to refer to yourself as a writer if you want to. Publication is not conclusive proof of worth (it just indicates that someone in the publishing industry liked your book, and thought it would sell), and non-publication does not mean that your work is shite. Literature is a subjective thing. That is why it is impossible to qualify. The Discword books would still be works of genius even if they had been rejected by every publishing house in existence. Even eventual popularity and sky-high sales figures are not concrete evidence of worth.
But, personally, I still hesitate to call myself a writer because people who’ve not seen/read my books still tend to react with either disbelief or condescension. I thought it would come easier once my first book was actually out on the shelves, but it didn’t. Indeed, although I have two published books out now, and two more that will be published in the next two years, I still feel uncomfortable referring to myself as a writer. I suppose it’s because I just tend to assume that I will not be believed. So many people claim to be writers (including those that do not write and probably never will) that it makes the title almost meaningless. The fact of wanting to be a writer does not turn you into one unless you actually do something about that desire. Just because you wish you were Captain Kirk, doesn’t mean you are Captain Kirk etc.
So although I certainly do consider myself to be a writer, I tend to skate over that when talking to new people, and only say vaguely that I am self-employed. That way I do not get pity or disbelief, and once they have gone I can still quietly whisper defiantly to myself: ‘I am King!’ or ‘I am Captain Kirk!’ Or something. But who knows, perhaps when I have written one hundred books, then I will finally feel justified in calling myself a Writer with a capital ‘W’.
Tags: writing
December 1st, 2009 at 2:43 pm
I remember when I was working on the wireless and hanging around with a slice of the London arts-type scene. People would ask what I did and I’d explain that I was a writer.
“Oh,” they would reply, “Anything published?”
At which point I would tell them about the show and suddenly they shut up about it and talked to me like a normal person (there was (and probably still is) a goodly supply of people claiming the title in that environment, despite never having got anywhere with their attempts to actually write stuff). These days I say that I make stuff up. The best reaction to that came from a flirty girl at a party; “You’re a journalist?”
December 1st, 2009 at 2:52 pm
People sometimes treat me as a normal person for a few minutes after they find out I’ve actually had stuff published but then go back to wary cynicism once they find out it’s science fiction.
‘But isn’t that for geeks?’ they say, pulling a face.
‘Er . . . yeah. I *am* a geek, thank you very much.’
December 1st, 2009 at 3:35 pm
You are the Queen of Rock’n'Roll, Alex. Geekery is just a delightful bonus.
December 1st, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Aw. In my profession it’s easy to say what I am.
If it helps when I speak about you to my other friends I call you an author. Pretentious, moi?
December 1st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I think you’ll find that *I* am Captain Kirk…
December 1st, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Um… and more seriously, great post.
I wrote something about this a while back, but am too lazy to find the link on my blog. Heh.
Cheers,
Kaz
December 1st, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Two books published, two more coming out, being paid to do it…
Yeah, you’re a writer
December 1st, 2009 at 7:19 pm
see as I’ve other friends called alex, I’ve need ways to tell you apart and such have always reffered to you as alex the Writer. Are you telling me I’m wrong kn this? One other question am I a soldier?
December 2nd, 2009 at 9:34 am
Alex
As Mr Devereux has alluded to, we have already solved this problem for you. It has been acknowledged that you are:
a) The Queen of Rock and Roll
and
b) A Goddess
both of which are far more impressive titles
In all seriousness, another excellent post, which only goes to prove that you are, indeed, a Writer.
- Neil. x
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:45 am
Neil and Dave - I think I can accept the Queen/Goddess titles graciously (and obviously I love you both)
Kaz - No, *I* am Captain Kirk! Me, me, me! Although I would be almost as happy to be Spock or Bones.
Jock - I always think of you as a soldier because that it what you’ve told me that you are.
December 2nd, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Well I’m writing at the moment but I would never call myself a writer. Luckily I can afford the time to write because I’m now retired. But I always wanted to write. So I suppose you could call my efforts ‘a hobby.’ 55,000 words so far on a ‘trial run’. And when this one is is finished, and it will be finished, there will be a second. I am already planning it. It will be far more serious attempt; the bones of it are already clattering around in the background.
To acheive all this I hide in the garden shed all day. Obviously if my friends knew this it would confirm their beliefs that I am crazy. So why tell them?
The first question anybody asks after you retire is ‘what on earth do you find to do all day with your spare time?’ Of course I am forced to lie. ‘Oh, gardening, house chores, shopping.’ Almost plausible this because my wife is still working. I also remind them ‘I have two classic cars which always need work, I love walking in the forest, oh, and sometimes try to paint or even write a bit.’ That’s as far as it goes.
So even though writing fills most of my time I am still really careful that none of my friends/colleagus know what I am doing. I don’t think I could cope with the inevitable string of questions like ‘what are you writing?’ ‘Do you honestly think you’ll be published?’ And then there’s that knowing look which means ‘You must be an idiot if you think that will work’. No, I’ll keep it a secret. And in the extremely unlikely event that the novel I’m working on now is ever published it will most certainly be under a pen name.
Maybe if I ever get to the stage that Alex has already climbed to I will have to re think this.
And now, back to writing, in the shed, in the rain.
December 4th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I come from Italy (living in London now), where there is roughly the same situation.
In Italy there is a huge art-y scene, made of people utterly unable to write, paint, or generally doing anything worthy, and thus convinced that the ‘audience’ (meaning: everybody but parents and friends) can’t get them.
But there is even a huge industry (and I mean really huge) of ‘vanity press’ - people who asks money for publishing ‘new’ authors’. This is really, really a big business, even bigger perhaps than regular publishing.
I’ve been a professional writer since 2004, I published four nonfiction books, two novels and the next one is due in June. Still I feel profoundly ashamed every time I say I am a writer. People tells me: “how much did you pay?”. And it makes me alternatively angry or embarassed, depending from the mood. There is a ring of arrogance in the word ‘writer’ that I don’t like at all. I will use Sorcerer Supreme and be happy with it.
Btw, your books are amazing (but I would not be writing here if they weren’t, so perhaps it is a useless specification…)
December 6th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
David - good luck with the book in the shed, in the rain (sounds cosy!). ‘Alex Bell’ is actually a pen name - and the author photo on this site is just some random person I bribed. I am really a 65 year old man with an impressive beard . . . Only kidding (or *am* I?)
Franceso - I guess it just depends on your definition of ‘writer’. I am proud of being a writer, but it is embarrassing when people look at you like you mean ‘loser’. Very glad to hear you liked the books
December 7th, 2009 at 9:50 am
I’ve always just said “I write.” It’s open-ended enough that people who aren’t interested will say “ah” and accept it, and cryptic enough that people who aren’t interesting will say “oh” and be content with it. People who press me further seem pretty interested in the subject, so I answer with a little more pleasantry.
I think a lot of what makes this declaration a sensitive subject is that, to a man (and woman), every writer I’ve shared more than two words with is, on some level, insecure. That isn’t intended as an insult or accusation, mind; rather, if writers weren’t insecure, they’d stop trying to improve themselves and thus would probably stop being writers and start being…I don’t know, regurgitators? And if you think you get weird looks when you say you’re a “writer,” just describe that!
But, if they succumbed to that insecurity, they’d also stop being writers and start being tiny little babies. You and I are far too tall to be tiny, Ms. Bell, so the only option is to answer the question at all times.
December 8th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Hello,
I stumbled on this post through a period of procrastination and link clicking and yes, I agree with the others, it’s a brilliant post. I’ve had non-fiction published in proper magazines you can buy in WH Smiths and was author 6 of 7 on a non-fiction book, but still have issues calling myself a writer.
It’s funny because only yesterday I stumbled across an interview with Joe Abercrombie that said you won’t do yourself any favours by being meek. So today I finally I changed my twitter profile to “up & coming Fantasy writer” yet it still feels very pretentious - I’ve only had one short story acceptance and that may be my one and only one.
I try and tell myself that because I write the type of stories I thoroughly expect to be rejected as unfashionable fantasy, this makes me a ‘genuine writer’. I’m not doing it to be commercial but to write the kind of stories I want to write, whether they are good or bad.
‘Writer’ feels like a title that should be anointed. But by whom? Maybe by the 10,000 word guy who is the person I genuinely fear becoming.
December 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Sam - very true. Linked to the insecurity thing is the fact that most writers feel passionately about what they write, or else they wouldn’t spend the time in the first place. Hence the reason good reviews are so great to read, and bad reviews are so rubbish!
And it’s funny how people seem to fall into two definite camps when they learn you’re a writer - those who are totally fascinated and those that seriously don’t give a shit.
Just to clarify a point - I always tell people I’m a writer if I know them better, or meet them for the first time in a social setting. It’s just occasions like at the hairdressers, for example, where I’m more likely to mutter something about working for myself, and then get back to my book/magazine before she can ask where I’m going on my holidays this year etc.
Adrian - Joe is right, of course. You don’t do yourself any favours in this business by being meek. If you’ve had non fiction and a short story published, I would definitely say you are a writer. To me, ‘up and coming writer’ or ‘wannabe writer’ implies a writer who is, as yet, unpublished. If there’s any firm benchmark as to when you can call yourself a writer, then actual publication has to be it.
I firmly believe people should write what they want to write rather than just trying to be commercial. If there isn’t any passion there, or real love for the subject, then I don’t see how it can be anything other than mediocre. Besides which, fashions change.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Try this: you’re a writer when other writers are recommending your books to each other.