Coming Out Of The Closet . . .
Aha ha, I know what you’re thinking! But, no, I am not, in fact, announcing lesbianism in this, only the third post of my new blog. (That sort of thing is better left to at least the fourth post . . . Only kidding! Or am I . . . ?)
No, my dirty secret is this: for many years - ever since I started to take a perverse pride in being fiendishly unpopular at school - I only read magazines that were about classical music or politics or philosophy. If I saw one of those women’s fashion magazines, I sneered down my nose at it. I liked to think of myself as above that girly stuff (yes, I was quite pretentious, actually).
But not any more. Recently I have admitted - to myself and to my family - that although I love skeletons and spaceships and coffins and klingons as much as the next geek, I also - every once in a while -quite like flicking through a woman’s magazine. There, I said it. And furthermore, I like those little miniature bottles of perfume you get in airports. And I like Paul Frank monkeys and I like having lots of shoes and I like the scented beads they put in the shopping bags at La Senza. Yes, sir, I am a girly girl now - I even drape strings of flowers around my skeleton, Erin, sometimes if I’m feeling extra specially floaty and feminine.
But what has all this got to do with anything, you say? Well, I’m gonna tell you: this is a post about hatboxes.
I was watching Adam’s Rib yesterday - one of my all time favourite films - 
and there’s this scene where Spencer Tracy’s character brings home a present for his wife, played by the glorious and resplendent Katherine Hepburn. It was a hat. But it wasn’t the hat that caught my attention so much as the box it came in - an actual, honest-to-goodness, perfectly circular hatbox with ribbons and tissue paper and everything. Why don’t they do those anymore, I ask myself?
In Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, the Pythons conclude that: “people aren’t wearing enough hats.” I am with them on that, and I submit that the underlying problem behind this problem is that you don’t get hatboxes anymore. Which just causes problems for everybody.
So there it is. The sole purpose of this post is, in fact, to express my sadness and regret at the fact that hats don’t come in hatboxes anymore. And because I’m no longer ashamed of the tiny little side of me that isn’t 100% geek, I ain’t even embarrassed to express that regret here on this blog for the whole world to see.
Please, world, bring back hatboxes.
January 17th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
“People aren’t wearing enough hats.”
Too bloody right!
January 18th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Congratulations!!
The site looks great, I can see many an hour reading through your random rants and telling you why your wrong
For starts why would anyone confuse your with Mr Alex Graham Bell he’s one of the most famous scottish people in history, shame on you for using him in such a way!!
Second you do still get hat boxes, i dunno where you have to shop to get them but once you’ve had a few bestsellers you’ll let me know. Probably Harrods or something.
January 18th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Jock – Are you kidding? Everywhere I go people stop me in the street and ask me if I’m the Alex Bell who invented the telephone. I find now that it’s less hassle to just say yes - sign a few autographs, pose for a few photos and then send them on their way . . .
As for the hatboxes – alls I’m sayin’ is that there should be *more*. They should not be the province only of the social elite at Harrods. It’s all very well for the bourgeoisie, but what about the proletariat, eh?
January 23rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Ok so for us simple minded people, what does that last sentance mean?
January 23rd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Alex, I have a total thing about hats. I love em. I have loads and one for all occasions. I have diamante baseball caps, fisherman’s caps, one that Simon said made me look like Ivor The Engine’s driver and lots of nice trappers and bobble hats, and even a Wonder Woman beanie. I’m lost without hats - last night was a rare hatless occasion, only cos it was bloody hot in FP!
So power to the hats!!
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Dude, you totally need to join LiveJournal…
Great meeting you last night!
Cheers,
Karen (your future flatmate in Boston)
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Jon - woo hoo, yeah, power to the hats! (And I have to say that a hat that makes you look like the driver from Ivor the Engine sounds bloody cool).
Karen - my future Bostonian flatmate - it was great meeting you too! You should totally join Facebook
January 27th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
You know, I’m totally inspired by the hats thing. I have several in fact, of my own, and I love them…but I hardly wear them. So, in honour of you, I will start wearing them. In fact, I’ll start at the upcoming Eastercon!
January 28th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Oooh, are you coming to the Eastercon, Liz? I’m looking forward to it more and more!
January 28th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Totally! We’ve paid and EVERYTHING! So we can’t cancel, even if we wanted to - grin.
Also, just to say: I got a hat. Yep. Went out today and bought one. I’ll take a picture of it (not wearing it yet) and will upload it and send it to you.
January 28th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Hats as part of a uniform are OK.
Hats for a practical use are OK.
Hats as a fashion accesory? Weeell?
The rest are for plonkers! Like Hoodies.
AND, beware of car drivers wearing a hat.
Hatboxes are only useful for keeping a drum or chocolates, but they are not green.
January 28th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Liz – I can’t wait to see the hat!
JWW – If you’re not with us, you’re against us! (Plus I seem to recall your wearing Grumpy caps, Grumpy woolly hats with bobbles on them, Mickey Mouse beanies, *all kinds* of hats in fact, when we were in Disney World!)
Hatbox full of chocolates – I don’t think it could get an awful lot better than that, really.
January 29th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I’m amazed that your memory plays such tricks on a person sooo young.
I admit to still wearing a Grumpy hat when walking in sunshine to shield my eyes, that is allowed in the useful catagory. Tongue out to you.