Alex Bell - fantasy author

Yes, the Lex Trent front cover is finally here in all its swashbuckling glory, courtesy of illustrator David Wyatt (http://www.david.wyatt.btinternet.co.uk) and designer Nick Venables at Headline, who have both done an amazing job. It is, quite clearly, very different from my Gollancz covers, for the simple reason that this is a very different type of book, but I am every bit as pleased with it.

This cover is the most literal interpretation of a book that I’ve ever had, and when my editor first mentioned having Lex himself on it, I wasn’t too sure. I didn’t think an artist would be able to get him right. Lex, after all, exists only in my head, and as I cannot draw to save my life, there’s no way of getting him out of there to show the artist what he looks like. But as it turns out, the Lex on the cover is exactly the way he appears in my head. The fact that you can’t see his face properly helps with that, I suppose, but everything else – the way he’s standing, what he’s wearing – is spot on.

Lady Luck – the blonde woman rocking the white toga – is also perfect. It’s almost as if Mr Wyatt really did reach into my head and pull the characters out. Because Lex and Lady Luck have been done so well, it’s a real thrill for me to see an image of something that actually takes place in the book.

I’m extremely pleased with the font as well because if Lex were to sign his own name, it absolutely would be with a flourish like that. Having a front cover always makes the book seem more real, and legitimises it in my own head so that I can think: ‘yeah, it’s a proper book, and I wrote it!’ rather than: ‘this is meaningless drivel that no one but me will ever read.’ And now that the book has such an awesome front cover I am looking forward to it finally being out on the book shelves even more than I was before.

Thanks to the insatiable appetite my parents have always had for travelling, I have been well-travelled since about the age of six. By that time I had been trudging fairly extensively around the Far East as well as the usual places like Europe and America. And I have been thinking recently about how travelling has helped me as a writer. It might sound clichéd, but travelling really does broaden your horizons, and if you can do it from a young age, I think it’s even more useful.

I was a little kid when I went to Hong Kong, Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia, and so it didn’t occur to me to think: these people look different, this food tastes different, the air smells different, am I happy about this? In many of the photos from these holidays I’m either sat on a filthy pavement cuddling a stray cat or sat on a filthy pavement reading a book. But I put the cats and books down for the sightseeing, obviously, even if I sometimes had to be forced to do so. I have seen the Great Wall of China, and the hieroglyphics in the tombs at the Valley of the Kings, and climbed the ruins in Chichen Itza. I’ve ridden on elephants and camels (although not at the same time, obviously); sat in a sled pulled by huskies (and even runaway huskies on one memorable occasion), and swam with dolphins. I’ve held giant snakes, fed giant tortoises, and had my sandwiches snatched away by monkeys (all right, so maybe I gave the monkey my sandwich because it tasted horrible and I didn’t wish to eat it). In the Far East I’ve been caught in a sudden downpouring of rain so heavy that you’re soaked within seconds, and I’ve walked out of air conditioning into heat so intense it feels like you’ve been smacked over the head with it. We have been swindled, robbed and tricked during our travels – which perhaps is no great surprise given the kinds of back street places we have been known to wander into. My parents are such seasoned travellers that they can now spot a scam a mile off. Not me, though. I’ll fall for any con going. In addition to this, I’ve seen the most beautiful crystal waters on beaches in the Caribbean, and soon got used to the jellyfish bobbing around in the sea on beaches in the United Arab Emirates.

From a very young age, my brother and I did everything on holiday that my parents did. There was none of this going to bed early crap; there was certainly none of this being carried or pushed in pushchairs nonsense (we knew we would have been laughed at if we had even suggested such a thing); and there were absolutely no Kidz Clubz (shudder), which I absolutely loathed, possibly because they did not allow me to sit quietly in a corner and read my book, but instead insisted that I participate in group games with the other children (although I do still have the cap I won in the coca cola drinking contest). I ended up in such a club just once in Jamaica only because my brother was so keen to go. There was a bit of an incident when I ran away at the first opportunity and, I’m happy to say, I’ve never seen the inside of one of these clubs since.

I have used locations from my holidays in both my Gollancz books, and I have drawn on my experiences from them for the Lex Trent books, even if only indirectly (although the midnight markets are created straight out of the night markets I visited in Hong Kong and China). I don’t ever remember a time when I was not well travelled, and I am extremely grateful to my parents for taking us to those places and giving us those experiences rather than molly-coddling us in some English-only hotel year after year. You don’t get a feel for the country if you never leave the private beach, after all. Better to intrepidly venture forth in search of adventure and new experiences and glory! Even if this does mean that somewhere along the line you may get scammed, or robbed; or find yourself horribly lost; or stranded in the middle of nowhere with a flat tyre; or bitten by a really huge bug; or, as in my brother’s case, have copious amounts of blood gushing out of your head on at least two occasions that I can think of. But that, perhaps, makes my parents sound a little more happy-go-lucky than they actually are. They did mop up the blood, after all, and they were only accidents. But, yeah, travelling is great, and all writers or aspiring writers should do it. Just try to avoid the blunt trauma to the head thing – especially when out on safari in the African wilderness surrounded by wild lions, because blood is much more difficult to clean up under those circumstances. And the lions dislike the screaming.

I have recently been catching up on series three of The Tudors and, having now got about half way through, I am feeling an outpouring of love and gushing admiration for the show. I think it is outstanding in every conceivable way. Superlative, in fact. There is no bettering it.

It has to be said, in the main, I am not a big fan of British TV. I was therefore predisposed towards disliking The Tudors when I began the second series (having missed the first one). At the risk of making a sweeping statement, it seems to me that British shows are usually inferior in the extreme to their American counterparts (except for Jane Austen type period dramas, which the British do very well). I can’t conceive of a British version of Stargate or Star Trek, for example, that would not be terrible. Perhaps the money just isn’t there. But the acting is a problem for me as well. If it seems cheesy and unbelievable, then I can’t get involved in it. Dr Who is the classic offender. I made myself watch two episodes, and it was like watching a Christmas pantomime. Which is odd, because I do think David Tennant, in other roles, can act. So maybe it’s the corny script writing instead.

I can’t quite put my finger on it but, for whatever reason, British TV doesn’t usually work for me. Even Merlin, which I really like, is not quite up to American standards. The Tudors, on the other hand, is another story altogether. It’s the only show of its type that I think the Americans couldn’t possibly improve upon. It ticks all the boxes. It is entertaining, sexy, violent and exciting. The acting, costumes, production, direction and writing are all truly excellent. I can’t fault a single actor in the whole show. I am terrified of, yet morbidly fascinated by, Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Henry, and am so convinced by him in this role that I actually can’t imagine him doing something normal like having a pint down the pub.

Natalie Dormer, the actress who plays Anne Boleyn, does an absolutely fantastic job of what seems rather a difficult part to play. Her performance is practically mesmerising. Not to mention the fact that she is stunningly beautiful. If I were going to have a girl-crush on anyone . . . but let’s not go there. Of course, Dormer, sadly, does not feature in the third series because, well, we all know what happened to Anne.

Moving on, despite the lavishness, polish and professionalism of the series, I have seen it criticised for not being 100% historically accurate and, I have to say, I think this accusation is absurd. Michael Hirst has stated: “Showtime commissioned me to write an entertainment, a soap opera, and not history … And we wanted people to watch it.” Seems fair enough to me. I am a history buff myself, but if I want to seriously learn more about history then I wouldn’t think to do it by watching a TV show. I would watch a documentary or read a book. I don’t watch The Tudors to learn more about the period, I watch it to be entertained. The story comes first! Besides which, the show itself is so good that I’m sure many people find their interest in the Tudor period piqued, and then try to find out more later. If Michael Hirst had to be slavishly faithful to historical fact then the series would not be so good, and so less people would watch it. If Henry, for example, were an obese man waddling grotesquely about the Royal Court, would anyone want to see any of his erotic dalliances? I seriously think not.

This show makes history accessible – bringing it “to the masses” as it were. I’m sure it has inspired many more people to take an interest in Henry VIII and his times than any dry, historical article ever did. I therefore think it quite ridiculous that historians like David Starkey (who I have been inclined to dislike ever since his unnecessarily antagonistic attitude towards his fellow panelists on Question Time) should brand the show as “gratuitously awful”, simply because it is not one hundred percent accurate. Not only do I think it impossible for a show like this to be entirely accurate, I do not think that it should be. If it is slavishly faithful to fact, to the point that only professional historians have any interest in watching it, then the show would soon be cancelled due to a fatal case of gross unpopularity. Shooting itself in the foot, as it were. A Pyrrhic victory indeed.

So, personally, I’m afraid I would have to dismiss as pure nonsense the claim that the Tudors is ruined because it sometimes takes liberties with dates, dress or characters. I love the show – I do not want a fat Henry – and I would dearly love to see it go on to cover Mary and Elizabeth’s reigns as well.

Last night I was watching an old episode of Dragons’ Den and I’ve come to the conclusion that this is something I must stop doing, for the simple reason that it is just costing me too much money. As soon as I saw the Scents of Time range of perfumes, I wanted one. I mean, who wouldn’t want a recreation of the perfume Cleopatra herself wore? Or one that elegant ladies onboard the Titanic might have worn? It’s just such a cool idea. It’s unique, and it’s classy. And – as it turns out – it is ethical.

I resolved to Google the product as soon as I’d finished the episode, but I didn’t hold out much hope of being able to order one for the simple reason that the vast majority of perfumes seem to be animal tested. The very suggestion that testing cosmetics on animals can be in any way justified is patently absurd. And – to be quite honest – disgusting. I would never buy any product from animal testing companies such as Proctor and Gamble (producers of Fairy Liquid, Head & Shoulders, Crest, Daz, Vicks, Iams, and many other household brands). I will probably blog about this in greater detail at some point but, in the meantime, more info can be found at http://www.uncaged.co.uk/pg.htm. The website states that: ‘It’s hard to think of anything more vicious than poisoning and killing animals for the sake of tinkering with cosmetics and washing powder formulations. P&G are responsible for relentless cruelty at its most calculating.’ I agree entirely, and I boycott companies such as this for the plain, simple reason that they make me sick to my stomach, and I have no wish to contribute to their already massive profits in any way whatsoever.

But, happily, there are companies out there who do not torture countless animals every year in the name of beauty (which just goes to show that those who do, do so unnecessarily). When it comes to perfume I have mostly been limited to Donna Karan – a brand I love, and who do not test their perfumes or ingredients on animals. But it’s nice to have a change every now and then. Imagine my delight, therefore, when I looked at the Scents of Time website (http://www.scentsoftime.co.uk/) and found in their FAQ’s that they do not test on animals! Yay!! I ordered a bottle of the Night Star perfume on the spot, partly because I think it’s a cool idea, and partly because I would always want to support any business that chose to be ethical in this way. Thank you very much, Mr Pybus – the Indiana Jones of the perfume industry – for not testing on animals, and for therefore enabling me to buy your products!